The company you keep

Several of my friends are smarter than I am. One in particular thinks at light speed, connecting dots in creative ways that leave everyone else in the dust. He’s the type who can find solutions that no one else sees and is always a step ahead in any conversation.

Another friend has a casual genius about him. He takes apart complex concepts and reassembles them in a laid-back, relatable way. His words are memorable because they’re delivered with a relaxed charm, making even the most complicated topics seem simple.

And another one is beyond efficiency ― she’s like the Goddess of Efficiency, Organization, and Getting Shit Done.

I can’t do what they do, but I admire them. I love these friendships because I hope some of their brilliance will rub off on me, and I enjoy witnessing their qualities and interacting with them (to the extent I can, of course). It’s a reminder of the richness that is out there in the world and what we can aspire to.

It’s not a stretch to assume that the people we surround ourselves with can either raise or lower our standards by influencing who we become or providing us with templates for behaviors we’d like to adopt.

‘Spaces Between’ for Empaths

》TOC 》

• What is an empath?
• Challenges of a Teenage Empath
  • Navigating Their World
• What Do We Mean by “Spaces Between”?
  • Connection with the Planet
  • Patterns of the Mind
• Maturing the Empath
  • The Practice of Banishment
  • Techniques for Finding the “Spaces Between”
  • Spiritual Practices
• The Third Eye
  • The Third Eye as Dispassionate Observer
  • Looking at the Third Eye in Other Ways
• Achievability for an Empath
• Continuous Support

My granddaughter is an empath. Now, I’ve met empaths before, and I really loved their “vibe” ― or their ability to surf the energies around them without being overwhelmed by the waves. They varied in maturity, but they were always aware of their energy sensitivities. At the most mature end, they seem to absorb the wave and either convert it to light or merely neutralize its tension.

On the other end, they seem to need to constantly readjust their perspectives ― which we all do, including the mature empaths, but these are more overt, appearing to be in constant search for themselves or validation. Less “solid,” like watching the changing shapes of clouds as the air stream carried them.

But empaths who are just starting out life need a different construct, or model, of the world. Since our brains construct what we consider reality, it makes sense to approach empaths from the ‘world-modeling’ perspective. Philip H. Farber in his book “Brain Magick: Exercises in Meta-Magick and Invocation”, describes world-modeling this way:

In general, most (if not all) of what we take for “the world” is a “user illusion,” a way that our brain interprets the world that allows us to experience clouds of probability (as physicists explain the nature of subatomic particles) as solid matter. We perceive the surface of our skin (however permeable and, ultimately, created of those clouds of probability and space) as the boundary between self and world. And we make numerous similarly illusory representations of everything we’ve ever seen, heard, felt, tasted, or smelled. Consider our experience of the world as a map or model that we create with our thoughts (and some help from the brain’s default network), based on the interpretation of our perception. Whether or not there is an objective reality to bump up against, all we can ever really do is experience our mind’s interpretation of bumping.  And this model-making most certainly includes the delineation we make between ourselves and the rest of the world. What we consider to be internal and external may just be convenient distinctions that help us to maintain a sense of self and to navigate what we perceive of the world.
 
For practical purposes, we usually find that we need to take our internal representation as the world. So, for the time being, we can play within the usual rules and relate to our books or reading devices as solid objects, decide that we are something separate from the air we breathe, and treat as “unreal” only those things we recognize as figments of our imagination. Good with that?

This post is for her and her spirit-filled mom. I hope it is the beginning of world-modeling where they can both enjoy a world of the spaces between.

What is an empath?

An empath is an individual who is highly sensitive to the emotional and energetic states of others. They can intuitively feel and, in some cases, take on the emotions of people around them as if they were their own. This heightened level of empathy goes beyond the typical empathetic response that many people experience; empaths can absorb both positive and negative emotional energies from their environment, which can significantly impact their own emotional well-being.

Angles of Resistance: from rejection to reflection

》TOC 》

• A look at “under review”
• Persecution vs. “Under Review”
• Pushes against the impulse
  • What is pushback
  • The here and now of pushback
  • Rooted in history, codified in religion
  • The cautionary tale of the ‘Martyr Complex’
  • Steadfast or adaptation
  • Epiphany – there’s a spectrum!
• What’s in a word
• Cultural nuances
  • Crucibles of pushback in life’s thresholds
  • Political signposts on the journey
• The unmarked road of privilege
• Navigating through awareness

A while back, I found myself needing to explain to a religious relative that Christianity — its precepts and values — are not under attack.  There is no “war on Christmas” nor is there “persecution,” at least of the lion-feeding variety.  I proposed to him that what he’s seeing is pushback by people who see sects of Christians trying to force their brand of “Christianity” on the nation.  Episcopalian pastor Joseph Yoo has a similar view: Christianity is “under review” by society.

A look at “under review”

The concept of “under review” carries with it a sense of examination, scrutiny, and perhaps, reevaluation. In the context of Christianity, the faith finds itself under review for myriad reasons — shifts in social norms, advances in science, and an increasingly pluralistic society, to name a few. Since Christianity interacts with the ever-changing world around it, being under review is almost a natural outcome of a faith that has global influence but exists in a myriad of local contexts. 

Its principles have a core, whose expressions have been codified and morphed over the years with dogmas reflecting the perspectives of different cultures, contexts, and knowledge of historical stages of human development. And the precepts and values have been codified into holidays, observances, and laws affecting the population of an entire nation according to the times.

So, it’s not so much a court martial as it is an audit — a detailed examination of its accounts and records to ensure accuracy and fairness. Audits are not necessarily punitive; often, they are formative. They expose gaps, shortcomings, and areas for growth.

But it’s important to note that feedback about spiritual growth and relevance to society isn’t just an internal debate.  Christians are called to be witnesses to Grace and Love to others whose hearts they hope to lead to salvation.  There is an audience and a calling, with a message that should be more about love than fear of Hell and eternal punishment, following dogmatic rules, and tribal litmus tests. This aligns with Christ’s message, which offers an area for growth in modern evangelism.

How well they do in the alignment — their “fruits” — would certainly be reflected in how their audience reacts. If God can indeed speak through Nature and Spirit, then why not through people outside the faith? After all, Christianity doesn’t hold a monopoly on wisdom or divine insight. Others, especially non-Christians, are how Christians can know that they aren’t just being Crusaders forcing everyone to bend the knee, a type of persecution of its own.

This view can serve as a compass for Christians feeling overwhelmed by the pace of societal change. What they perceive as pushback might actually be course corrections, God steering them away from rocky shores and toward more profound understandings of faith, much like a seasoned sailor reads the winds and waves to navigate a tricky stretch of sea.

But that’s just one side of the persecution coin.

Persecution vs. “Under Review”

For one thing, “persecution” seems rather dramatic. It’s vital to appreciate the scale of persecution that early Christians faced. From being fed to lions in Roman colosseums to undergoing political executions, early followers of Jesus paid a high price for their convictions. The notion of persecution was a real, visceral experience, often culminating in loss of life or freedom. The stakes were monumentally high, which added gravity to the early Christian messages about enduring for the sake of faith.

Creating vibrant memories through the Peak-End Rule and mindfulness

》TOC 》

• Dealing with the bias
  • Understanding the Peak-End Rule
  • Mitigating the bias
• From bias-mitigation to positive-memory creation
  • Crafting peak moments vs simply recognizing them
  • Mindfulness: An Open Door to the Present
  • Speaking of magic — Brain Magick
  • Making ends memorable
• Become the architect of your own memorable life

(Reading time: 17 minutes)

The human brain is a fascinating machine — the ultimate scrapbook of our lives — capable of encoding a lifetime of experiences into a web of interconnected memories. Yet, it’s worth noting that not all memories are created equal. Factors like emotional intensity and sensory engagement can elevate a moment from fleeting to unforgettable, capturing both the picture-perfect moments and the not-so-Instagrammable ones.

Understanding how the brain processes and retains experiences can offer us a guide to crafting memories that stand the test of time.

I recently just ran across the bias called the Peak-End Rule, and wondered:

1. What is it composed of?
2. How can it be mitigated?
3. How does it relate to creating clear, vivid memories?

It seems like there are some dots to connect there regarding mitigating the effects of this bias, the role of sensory engagement in memory formation, and mindfulness.

Dealing with the bias

Understanding the Peak-End Rule

Coined by psychologist Daniel Kahneman, the Peak-End Rule posits that our memory of an experience is largely determined by its peak — the most intense part — and its end. These moments become the markers that define how the entire experience is stored and recalled. Whether it’s a vacation, a work project, or a simple day out, it’s the most intense and the final moments that stick in our memory, often overshadowing the more mundane or neutral events that may constitute the bulk of the experience.

Suppose you plan a 7-day vacation. Days 1-3 are filled with sightseeing, but nothing extraordinary happens. On Day 4, you have an amazing experience — perhaps you take a breathtaking hot air balloon ride. As if to add another dramatic twist, on Day 6 you face an interminable flight delay. Frustrating, yes, but it’s an unexpected moment that, depending on your perspective, could serve as a counterpoint to the peak experience of the hot air balloon ride. And then, as the final curtain draws on Day 7, just as you’re about to head home, you lose your wallet.

It’s precisely these peaks and troughs — whether uplifting or frustrating — that don’t just shape your personal retrospective of the vacation, but also inform how you’ll plan, or even whether you’ll embark on similar escapades in the future.

This cognitive shortcut often distorts our memories and influences future decision-making in several ways: