Tag: discovery

‘Spaces Between’ for Empaths

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My granddaughter is an empath. Now, I’ve met empaths before, and I really loved their “vibe” ― or their ability to surf the energies around them without being overwhelmed by the waves. They varied in maturity, but they were always aware of their energy sensitivities. At the most mature end, they seem to absorb the wave and either convert it to light or merely neutralize its tension.

On the other end, they seem to need to constantly readjust their perspectives ― which we all do, including the mature empaths, but these are more overt, appearing to be in constant search for themselves or validation. Less “solid,” like watching the changing shapes of clouds as the air stream carried them.

But empaths who are just starting out life need a different construct, or model, of the world. Since our brains construct what we consider reality, it makes sense to approach empaths from the ‘world-modeling’ perspective. Philip H. Farber in his book “Brain Magick: Exercises in Meta-Magick and Invocation”, describes world-modeling this way:

In general, most (if not all) of what we take for “the world” is a “user illusion,” a way that our brain interprets the world that allows us to experience clouds of probability (as physicists explain the nature of subatomic particles) as solid matter. We perceive the surface of our skin (however permeable and, ultimately, created of those clouds of probability and space) as the boundary between self and world. And we make numerous similarly illusory representations of everything we’ve ever seen, heard, felt, tasted, or smelled. Consider our experience of the world as a map or model that we create with our thoughts (and some help from the brain’s default network), based on the interpretation of our perception. Whether or not there is an objective reality to bump up against, all we can ever really do is experience our mind’s interpretation of bumping.  And this model-making most certainly includes the delineation we make between ourselves and the rest of the world. What we consider to be internal and external may just be convenient distinctions that help us to maintain a sense of self and to navigate what we perceive of the world.
 
For practical purposes, we usually find that we need to take our internal representation as the world. So, for the time being, we can play within the usual rules and relate to our books or reading devices as solid objects, decide that we are something separate from the air we breathe, and treat as “unreal” only those things we recognize as figments of our imagination. Good with that?

This post is for her and her spirit-filled mom. I hope it is the beginning of world-modeling where they can both enjoy a world of the spaces between.

What is an empath?

An empath is an individual who is highly sensitive to the emotional and energetic states of others. They can intuitively feel and, in some cases, take on the emotions of people around them as if they were their own. This heightened level of empathy goes beyond the typical empathetic response that many people experience; empaths can absorb both positive and negative emotional energies from their environment, which can significantly impact their own emotional well-being.

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What Makes Us, Us?

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Much of identity is a lampshade
Core Identity and Non-negotiable Aspects
Lampshade Resistance
Lampshade Freedom

In a recent New York Times article, “Blaxit: Tired of Racism, Black Americans Try Life in Africa,” one lady, Omosede Eholor, who moved to Africa had an assumption about ‘self’ that caught my attention. Leaving New York for Accra, she initially embraced the vibrant African culture. Yet, over time, daily challenges and cultural differences led her to question:

“How much of yourself are you losing in the process of trying to adapt?”

She sounds to me like a contemporary Westerner that has come to believe certain things about this thing called “self,” with undisclosed and unevaluated assumptions. If she were able to unpack her assumptions, could she adapt and still be happy she is still herself, but with different trappings?

Her quote touches on a contemporary issue: balancing adaptation with perceived self-preservation.  When we are challenged to adjust aspects of ourselves in response to new contexts, different values, and alternative perspectives, how do we distinguish what must stay core versus what can evolve without losing our essence? The “sacrificing what makes me, me” concern.

While the NYT article focused on cultural adaptation, its essence transcends this specific context. Any significant change or challenge, be it a new job, a personal loss, or even exploring other viewpoints, can challenge our sense of self our sincerely held assumptions or values feel threatened and trigger an existential crisis of identity. Like without our current identity as-is, we cease to exist. 

What is it that is scary? You’re not dying, after all. You’re still alive with the ability to enjoy life with all its color and rich tapestry of possibilities.

Much of identity is a lampshade

In a previous post, “Changing Core Wiring,” I delved into the complex interplay between the intrinsic core self (“wiring”) that inherently resists alteration and the neuroplastic potential to modify deep-seated patterns through concerted effort and willpower, underscoring the nuanced reality that, although our brains are capable of remarkable change (neural plasticity and pruning), such transformation requires persistent effort and the application of willpower — a finite resource that varies significantly among individuals in how much of it we have and how quickly we can exhaust it.

This question of adapting our sense of self amidst change intersects with a nuanced modern quandaries — the phenomena of hyper-individualization and hyper-identity ― the hypers. These are the trappings that we fuse onto the core as though they are as immutable as our core.

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The Consideration Continuum

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Where there’s a There

It is not uncommon that I sometimes start with a topic that I think can be decomposed, juxtaposed, interposed, and re-composed to provide a more mosaic picture; but then I get into identifying the dots and unpacking perceptions and realize that the trajectory of my exploration is veering towards a realm too ephemeral, where the dots themselves lack the vibrancy to cast anything more than pallid, spectral impressions.

There’s no There there.

Such was the case with considering consideration and inconsideration, and whether there is such a thing as inconsideration density.  Then I realized that that’s the point: for some topics, you have to be comfortable with ambiguity and ghostly shadows. Not everything has hard substance; not everything resolves itself to 100% knowable because, by its nature, it is only an impression of an abstraction.

Being considerate essentially means being aware of and responding thoughtfully to the needs and feelings of others. It is the opposite of unconscious behavior that runs on autopilot and is often unaware of the impact it has in the pond of social interaction. Being considerate results from the transition from self-centeredness to other-centeredness, a flowering of empathy that sows understanding and harmony.

It’s about looking around and reassessing the immediacy of your own personal concerns to recognize and react to the stories and concerns of others. For example, you might notice that a colleague is struggling with his workload and offer help despite your busy schedule. You might also consider that your neighbor has to work tomorrow and that loud music negatively impacts sleep and work performance, and adjust the volume.

So there is an abstraction with enough substance to name. It has features and benefits. But what is considerate or inconsiderate is too relative to paint with thick strokes of bright black or brilliant white. And notice how subtly the shift was made from considerate as an abstraction to considerate as a characteristic of an individual.

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Banality of Birthing

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Watering down precious

Childbirth. A phenomenon as old as life itself. It’s a dance choreographed by nature, performed across species, and celebrated in countless ways. But what does this rite of passage truly mean to us as individuals and as a society? Have we elevated it to a status beyond its biological function, and if so, why?

I was watching Project Runway: All Stars, where there was a contestant who recently had a baby. She made such a big deal of how her life revolved around having a baby, that I had to wonder: do all mothers feel this way? Is having a kid really so momentous in the grand scheme of things? Of course, that begs the question: what “scheme” are we talking about.

I wrote a short post, “What makes life precious or miraculous,” wherein I explored the multifaceted concepts of “preciousness” and “miracle” in the context of life, delving into different perspectives, including biological, philosophical, and theological, to unpack how these terms can be understood and applied, particularly in relation to human existence and debates, such as abortion.

That was a discrete discussion, with only one angle or perspective. It didn’t get any deeper, really, than defining terms.  Here we shift the perspective a bit in an attempt to connect the larger dots that might be invisible to us because they’re so commonplace or they’re tightly integrated into our cultural constructs (like politics, religion, and tradition).  The “scheme” as it were.

Shifting perspectives to see the dots that form our reality, we recognize that sometimes the most familiar aspects of our lives hold mysteries that, when unraveled, can reveal new understandings and surprising truths. Perhaps it’s time to explore this event from different angles — its cultural significance, its commonality across species, and its broader impact on our planet — and reconsider the status of childbirth.

Childbirth as a Social and Cultural Phenomenon

In many ways, we see ourselves as unique, separated from other species by virtue of intelligence, consciousness, and cultural practices. This sense of uniqueness permeates how we view and celebrate childbirth, a nearly universal act of bringing new life into the world. Across different societies and historical periods, childbirth takes on fascinating shades of meaning, reflecting the diverse ways in which our intelligence, consciousness, and cultural practices influence our understanding of procreation.

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