In the vibrant greens around me, I see only gray hue. In the blueness of the sky, I feel small. The immensitude of things around me feels emptier, with less substance than before. Or maybe they have just become “things,” for their soul has left.
I feel barely encapsulated within my skin that even the faintest thought of you rends. Then I think of Rich, and the image of what I feel multiplied by time remaining is what you must feel. Deeper, vaster, most complete.
If it weren’t for the depth of blessing in loving, I would wish it away. If it weren’t for the color it brings, I would turn it off. I see the future, and it has super-nova pain in it…and it has opportunities for concentrated blessing. Might as well make the future an atomic event and hope for vaporization.
Farewell Ernie. My sincerest wish is that the relief you sought is worth having traded in life & love for it.
Filed under: Reflection |